Do you remember the first moment which you felt it, the moment, which screamingly seemed to tell you what you could and would be capable of? The world seemed to open in front of you; in all of its awe. You saw something you could never reach, a perfection you would strive for, move around, explore, investigate. encourage and open.
It is not a joke. What saves is the idea that reality is tangible, pliable; that this hardness which is placed upon one in the early years; the escape I always found, was in art, where I listened, and saw, and read voices, that spoke their messages through to the very core of me.
Quotes
Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.
charles bukowski
panic is the edge at which change begins. we twitch a bit, curious and fearfull, where dream and memory linger at the edge. this is something to move through into transformation.
How strange it is. We have these deep terrible lingering fears about ourselves and the people we love. Yet we walk around, talk to people, eat and drink. We manage to function. The feelings are deep and real. Shouldn’t they paralyze us? How is it we can survive them, at least for a little while? We drive a car, we teach a class. How is it no one sees how deeply afraid we were, last night, this morning? Is it something we all hide from each other, by mutual consent? Or do we share the same secret without knowing it? Wear the same disguise?
Don DeLillo (via jarrodis)
there is this issue brought up again and again on the subject of art; that of going over ones boundaries; this is not only art, but about the human potential
capitalism seeks to sublimate the desires, to displace, and to change, the forces of drive and life and love, into a mechanism of consumption, and of capture.
Because to work, is to exhaust the spirit, to drive the life out of it. this is perhaps why in metro areas such as New York, the “lunch hour” is a moment of rebellion, a moment where the repression is ended, and we can be alive again. this is NY, as the food cart worker tells the woman she is beautiful; it is because he would rather make love to her than to fry chicken, the korean woman walks two blocks long another woman, holding the umbrella, talking about careers, the bodega owner growls does not want to make the sandwich while the cat runs wild.
to work in capitalism, is to dream of quick riches, easy chances, secret breeched of the contract which no one really believes in
We are always in the space in-between… all the spaces where you are not actually at home. You haven’t arrived yet…. This is where our mind is the most open. We are alert, we are sensitive, and destiny can happen. We do not have any barriers and we are vulnerable. Vulnerability is important. It means we are completely alive and this is an extremely important space.
Marina Abramović (via palmofmyhands)
Ich will mit dem gehen, den ich liebe
Ich will mit dem gehen, den ich liebe.
Ich will nicht ausrechnen, was es kostet.
Ich will nicht nachdenken, ob es gut ist.
Ich will nicht wissen, ob er mich liebt.
Ich will mit ihm gehen, den ich liebe.
bertolt brecht
I have been looking outwards.
the darkness is deep.I feel a craving. It is the craving which drives me; and along the way I love you. I try to sustain love, I try to stay inside of it.
Looking at you; you are shining.
Don’t expect this to be easy.
Do expect it to be beautiful.
balthus, your image , an image you painted, hangs in my bathroom, my bathroom, of my minimal, NY room, being the room, of desire, of gender, the room where makeup places onto my face and the mirror returns my gaze.
Balthus; an open sexuality, forefront, earthy, yet very deep and dark, balthus, who wanted the paintings to speak, to be, in their image a power.
The fire rages, the youth reclines. full, deep in a desire, which will become life, a desire which inside of itself, inside of the breath of a moment, finds the fullness
if I had an orgy in heaven it would be with the spirits of the songs of blixa bargeld and leonard cohen
TESS TENNESSEE MILLER 