when a dog has eaten strychnine and is going to die, you must get an axe and carry him to a chopping block. Then you wait for the next convulsion, and in that moment chop of his tail. if the poison has not gone too far, your dog will recover. the shock of pain contracts poison without the shock he will surely die.
It is the core; the terror and the in between
Exhaustion is the beginning of power.
Something, an extreme dark force, a trauma, a swirl, a dull pain reeling through the core of the body.
Terror and pain as a sharp prick
things taken without reason
inflictions
and yet, this mixes, at times, merges
silken surfaces push against it, with a joy which is possible only when one has this horror, like a weight which.one must both escape and carry.
you said is
there anything which
is dead or alive more beautiful
than my body, to have in your fingers
(trembling ever so little?)
Looking into
your eyes nothing, I said, except the
air of spring smelling of never and forever.
I am many
Many histories
Many intensities
I am an invincible irresistible force underneath layers of sparkle and darkness. I am a wanting and a becoming.
I am a constellation of nothing. I will deal.out edges as I see fit
If desire produces, its product is real. If desire is productive, it can be productive only in the real world and can produce only reality… Desire does not lack anything; it does not lack its object. It is, rather, the subject that is missing in desire, or desire that lacks a fixed subject; there is no fixed subject unless there is repression… Desire is not bolstered by needs, but rather the contrary; needs are derived from desire: they are counterproducts within the real that desire produces. Lack is a countereffect of desire; it is deposited, distributed, vacuolized within a real that is natural and social.
I have been in the dark; I have been hidden.
Virginia woolf and dark recesses
TESS TENNESSEE MILLER 